Monday, November 7th, 2005: How is it This Never Occurred to Us While it Was Still Timely?


regolith
Scorpion Survival Horror Report
11/07/05 12:14:32 AM  <link>
by: regolith - mood: normal
On friday, I almost stepped on a little scorpion on my living room carpet, but... I noticed it. I was holding a Bed Bath & Beyond flyer at the time, so I placed it over the scorpion, then punched it. Scorpions are obviously the stronger of our two species, since it did not die from a single punch, but took like 5 of them. Man, I need to work out... Anyway, when I slipped the flyer under the corpse, to take it to the trash, I saw that it had left some brown guts on the carpet, and the brown guts made a brown stain. So... When I next vacuum (this year?), I'll have to remember that spot... and clean it.

Double Scorpion Attack Army Ninjas Report!

The very next evening, there was another scorpion in my living room, in about the same place! Actually, it was probably a clone of the same one that it had activated when it knew it was near death. This scorpion had all the knowledge and abilities of its predecessor, so that must have been it. Anyway, learning from the lesson of the carpet-staining, self-repeating scorpion, I quickly read my energy bill newsletter, then, using it as a glossy glove, grabbed the scorpion and crushed it in my manly fist. I'm proud to say that it died instantly under my onslaught, though I was too scared to unwrap the crumpled ball to make sure. It probably died, though. I'll be sure to tell you if I have another incident with this scorpion (or his clones) in the future!

--regolith

apon
I heard the jury was still out on... science.
11/09/05 10:09:13 PM  <link>
by: apon - mood: chaos

And always remember: "There's no 'I' in 'win'."

-apon


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